he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
