no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
