she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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