Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
