Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
4 words: hood of his car
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
