ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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