well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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