I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
