Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
