how can u be prego again
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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