i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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