I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
