Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
