the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
