Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
