just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
