You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
