I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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