Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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