im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
