Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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