True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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