He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
