I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
