I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
