Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
