every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Randomize
