Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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