its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
