Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
