I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize