Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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