So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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