Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
