Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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