I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
