So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
