how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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