May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Randomize
