Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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