I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize