Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
