Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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