Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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