I heard we made out
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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