I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
