Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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