Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
