that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
