Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
