I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
