We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
