Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
