their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
