don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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