I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
