She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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