we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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