apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Randomize
