I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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