the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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