I'm drive I can fine osifer
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
