I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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