I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
