Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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