well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
